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The Power of the Personal Story
by Deborah Jackson
Why are stories important? Caregiver Karen Yamamoto-Hackler says, "Imbedded in personal stories is a kernal of lived truth."
In caregiver support groups across the islands, everyday people share stories that range from the most mundane, frustrating details like managing incontinence (poop on the floor!), to unraveling complex medical decisions, to the profoundly spiritual topics of life and death. Having a group to tell their stories to brings healing and confidence. You realize you are not alone, and see what's worked, or hasn't, for other people.
In the sharing of your story, you might stumble upon some of the wisdom you've come to on your own. Aha!, you make discoveries. It's great to learn from experts, and there is a wealth of knowledge out there. But what we learn from our own stories is the incredible wealth of wisdom we have within ourselves, that we don't always recognize.
In the caregiver/elder relationship, this story sharing can be a way to validate their lives and our own. As an elder sheds so many things that defined their life for so many years - what's left is the story itself. A caregiver who listens will learn much about the person, who they were and who they are. They will be less likely to take things personally, that come from years ago. They will see how the person copes with changes, how they have learned to survive life's challenges. They might find many things in common, many ways to validate and honor a precious life. And, thereby, give honor to their own caregiving work.
Stories are the way into the caregiver relationship. They are the heart of it. And, they are the gift left behind for those who have listened, to pass to others.
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